Do You Know What's "ENOUGH"?
Do You Know What's "ENOUGH"?
The other day, while Dani was in the US Embassy sorting out his greencard (YAY!), I called up a childhood friend of mine (more like the brother I never had), and we began reflecting on where we are in life. We’re both in our early 40s. We both have careers that have had their tremendous ups and disastrous downs. We’ve seen our families and relationships evolve. And thus we began talking about the inevitable peaks and valleys that come with being alive long enough to have some scars but also some wisdom.
At some point in our convo, I shared with him a mental exercise of sorts that I had done earlier this year: I sat myself down and asked, What is enough?
That word “enough” had been circling my mind for a while since I turned 40 last year. What does “enough” financially mean to me? Like literally, a number. What does “enough” in love in my marital relationship look like to me? “Enough” in health? So on and so forth.
What would it take for me to feel truly “enough” fulfillment?
I did this exercise solo and with my husband. We literally wrote it out:
Financially: what do we actually need to maintain our current lifestyle?
In our relationship: what matters most to us?
In health: what practices and routines sustain us?
When I looked at the paper (because yes I am a millennial that still writes sh* down), I realized… I already had enough.
More than enough, actually.
That realization lifted such a weight off my shoulders.
It shifted something deep inside me.
Suddenly, the endless striving that I learned to have as a young adult began to quiet. I realized that wasn’t chasing after a moving target anymore. I wasn’t living from scarcity.
Dare I say…I am full?
Now, instead of approaching work or goals with “I have to achieve this,” I find myself asking, “Wouldn’t it be fun if…?” or What would happen if I tried this? Or built that? It becomes more of a social experiment, an adventure, rather than a desperate climb.
When I shared this with my friend during our call and asked him what “enough” meant for him, he answered in a way that shook me even more.
He said, “I’ve always had enough.”
That floored me bc if I never felt that way growing up… nor in my 20s… nor in my 30s.
Even starting my 40s I was still pushing hard, still measuring myself against some imaginary line of more more more more more more more more more x 10000000.
It wasn’t until now that I could finally see it. That I do, in fact, have enough.
But to hear someone say they’ve always known they had enough (since birth even) that was a new perspective entirely. It made me realize that “enough” is a mindset.
Before my great-uncle passed away, he would share stories on how he was thrown in jail (and later a camp) because of his resistance to the communist revolution in Cuba. He obviously escaped many many years later and every time he shared his stories there was this calmness to him. No anger. No reget. No remorse. I had the honor of asking him, “How did you survive? You didn’t have anything!” He said he had to learn peace. Peace is what kept him alive. His peace became his “enough.”
And so I’ll leave you with the same question:
What is enough for you?
Because here’s the thing, we all have goals, dreams, ambitions. I’m in no way suggesting we throw those out. I’ll probably always be ambitious; it’s been woven into me from my immigrant parents. But what changes everything is when you pause and define what “enough” looks like for you.
When you do, you might discover that you already have more than you realize. That you’re already living inside your “enough.” And when that happens, life becomes lighter. You stop creating from fear or lack, and instead, you create from joy.
And maybe that’s the real secret: enough isn’t about settling. It’s about seeing.
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XX Idalia