Why Everyone’s Winning on Instagram Except You.
Why Everyone’s Winning on Instagram Except You.
I don’t care if you’re a content-creator, a full-time mom of 3 with a private account who loves her TikTok, a Gen-Z’er into manga, or anything in between, because what I’m going to say next is for anyone and everyone who consumes social media.
Most of us, open our phones first thing in the morning to “check in,” and suddenly find ourselves knee-deep in a spiral (honorable mention to the rabbit holes we go down at 2:30am when we can’t sleep)….
“She’s booking another luxury collab.”
“He’s grown 10k followers overnight.”
“They’re on a yacht… again.”
What started as innocent scrolling quickly turns into a brutal internal audit. “Am I behind? Am I doing enough? Why does everyone have it together and I don’t?”
You’ve heard it before… the “comparison game” quote that gets thrown around like Diddy at a party, but this is truly the quiet crisis of the social media economy.
Unlike most careers, content creation puts your identity, creativity, and output on display every freakin’ day. Your value can feel algorithmic (Oh, this post didn’t do well, I guess people don’t like it when I show them how to cut a mango in less than 15 seconds). Your self-worth starts to hinge on likes, shares, and how many brands land in your inbox. I see it all the time with not only my private clients, but friends and family alike. The quit crisis affects us all equally.
Add to that the pressure to constantly evolve, be relevant, stay visible, stay youngggggggggg, and now, be and STAY rich... it’s no wonder so many people are quietly burning out.
Worse of all, comparison rarely happens on a level playing field. You're comparing your messy middle to someone else’s curated highlight reel often backed by teams, budgets, years of unseen work, and sometimes an out-right LIE. Yes, smoke and mirrors. That Hermes bag is fake y’all.
When I managed celebrities like Pamela Anderson in the past (pre-social media ; yes I’m a dinosaur), she “only” had to worry about “the press”… and let me tell you, that is BRUTAL. If you’ve seen that tacky Hulu show about her and Tommy, you get a glimpse of how the public media tore her to shreds.
But now?
Celebrities and creators and civilians a like are feeling that pressure… daily, hourly, minutely (is that even a word?)…. because social media simply does. not. stop. Now you’re not only getting shitted on by Candace Owens, you’re also getting violently shitted on by Becky in Nebraska with a Jesus emoji in her bio… oh and a private profile.
So how do you take your power back?
These are steps I take with my private clients when I feel like the world is coming in on them and they need to recenter, refocus, and not let the Becky’s in the world dictate their self worth.
1. Curate What You Consume
Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger comparison. Follow creators who inspire, not intimidate. You can admire someone without letting them erode your self-esteem. I’m not exaggerating that I probably do a “following” audit at least 3 times a year. Social media for me used to cause me anxiety, now the algorithm only shows me educational content, cooking recipes, and the random history lesson here and there (shout out to Roy Casagrande!).
2. Return to Your 'Why'
Yeah, I’m gonna mention this here too. I LOVVEEEEE asking people “WHY???” Why did you start creating in the first place? What stories do you actually want to tell? The more rooted you are in your mission, the less you’ll waver in the winds of other people’s success.
3. Protect Your Offline Time
Your creativity lives in the quiet moments. Go for walks. Journal. Make something just for you. That silence is where your voice gets stronger. I do multiple breaks throughout the day. I actually bought myself an old-school alarm clock so that I don’t see my phone first thing in the morning. During lunch and dinner, my husband and I have a no-phone policy. And normally by 8-9pm, I put my phone away. PERIOD.
4. Talk About It
Comparison thrives in silence. Talk to other creators. Talk to friends. Talk to ME! You’ll see that you’re not alone, and that you shouldn’t be going through this alone.
So if you get anything from this post, let it be this: you are not behind. You are not failing because someone else is succeeding.
Success in the creator economy isn't linear, it’s deeply personal and also deeply private. And you simply can't measure impact through a follower count.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF!
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XX Idalia