Oh No, Here Come the Trad Wives
Oh No, Here Come the Trad Wives
Unless you’ve been living under a social rock, you’ve obviously have been somewhat submerged in the conversation swirling around the so-called “trad wives.” You know, the women who present a version of domesticity, homemaking ,and family-centered living that might, at first glance, seem to reject everything that female rights stands for.
How dare they not have a job!
How dare they make their own bread!
How dare they not believe in Tylenol! (And no, opting for a more “natural” lifestyle shouldn’t mean rejecting science. Balance and evidence-based care can coexist beautifully with homegrown wellness.)
But when we pull back the TikTok virality, what stands out is something far more complex. Let’s take Ballerina Farm (Hannah Neeleman) as a case study in the complexity of modern womanhood and branding. And no this isn’t a piece about politics or ideology. We’re going to unravel the optics of agency, and how the internet reacts when women choose a path that doesn’t fit its algorithm of empowerment….
Neeleman’s social pages look like Sofia Coppola did a rendition of “Little House on The Prairie”. Everything from vintage aprons to farmhouse cooking videos to a handful of kids (and then some). Her husband and her own a 328-acre farm which raises cattle, chickens, pigs, and also markets products such as pre-packaged baked goods, clothing, beeswax candles, honey and more.
And while there has been a lot of heat on her for choosing (or dare I say “submitting” to) traditional and domestic “duties”, what gets blatantly overlooked is that she literally is the founder and chief executive of the brand. Her content, as traditional as it may be, is punched with strategic brand development and insane insane insane monetization.
The stoves, the pastured animals, the vintage clothing are all part of a curated brand. And yes she celebrates homemaking and family life, but she is also managing a business that employs multiple staff, markets products and expands into agri-tourism.
We shouldn’t be fooled by a mother in a gingham dress mixing dough, because behind that image is a business infrastructure. So when critics say “that’s just playing house,” the reality is more that she’s playing house and playing CEO. And what is wrong with that?
Even when The Times did the explosive article on her last July, it was met with partial praise and partial disgust. And here’s the thing my friends, whether or not she regrets leaving her life as a ballerina in NYC is really not my business or for me to decide. How her and her husband decide to share responsibilities and tasks, also isn’t my darn business. Celebrating her choice doesn’t mean prescribing it. As women, we need to allow for the full spectrum of choice without judgment.
Why should women wear the scarlet letter A because they choose that home life? Especially in a world where they can now build something powerful from it?
It reminds me of that moment in the movie Barbie, when one of the Barbies decides she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. In a world built on ideals of perfection and independence, that choice seemed almost rebellious. It flipped the script. It was about breaking the mold entirely and realizing that every version of womanhood deserves space. Because I personally don’t think that feminism was supposed to mean sameness, but rather freedom. Freedom to pursue the boardroom or the playroom or both. Freedom to return to softness without losing strength. Of course, that word “choice” looks different for everyone, and we always have to have in the forefront that true freedom means having the social and economic systems that actually make those choices possible in the first place.
And as a 41yr old self-proclaimed-feminist who has tried to conceive and has not yet been able to, all the more power to those who can and choose to make that their life calling. Because empowerment looks different on everyone.
Maybe that’s what I’m (and maybe as a collective “we” are) finally learning…that the modern woman doesn’t have to fit into a 1954 Betty Draper narrative or a early 2000s Olivia Pope. She can write her own story. She can pivot. She can change her mind. Supporting one woman’s path doesn’t mean we should undo the progress that protects every woman’s right to make her own.
PS: If you haven’t subscribed yet to my SubStack, take a second to do so. I focus on the creator economy and how women can rise above.
XX Idalia