You’re Not Losing. Social Media Just Wants You to Think You Are.

You’re Not Losing. Social Media Just Wants You to Think You Are.

Tell me if this sounds familiar: you wake up in the morning, and right when you press that button to get your coffee brewing, you grab your phone to “just check in.” And then suddenly (perhaps instantly) your whole life feels like it’s not enough.

I get it. Most of us open our phones with good intentions. You know, just to peek at what’s going on, and before we know it, we’re swimming in a highlight reel Olympics:

• She’s flying business class again!

• He gained another 20k followers overnight!

• They’re kid just got accepted to three Ivy league schools!

What starts as harmless scrolling quickly becomes an audit of your entire existence. Duh, it feels like you’re behind, not doing enough, or missing the secret memo everyone else got.

But this “comparison” game as escalated into something that’s become more deep rooted in our society. It’s the hidden tax of living in a world where attention is currency.

Why does it hit so hard?

Social media (and honestly, just being visible online) forces you to constantly package your identity, creativity, and self-worth for public consumption. Even if you’re not a creator!

Our society has turned our perceived value into an algorithm where your wins are graded by likes, shares, and reposts. And your failures? Good lawd, they feel like the whole internet just didn’t care enough.

That pressure (combined with the demand to stay relevant, stay young, stay visible, stay rich) is burning people out quietly. I see it all the time with my clients.

And let’s be frank… you’re not even comparing fairly. You’re stacking your real life (with messy apartments, unpaid bills, or toddlers throwing mac & cheese at the wall) against someone else’s polished highlight reel… which might be boosted by a team, a budget, or straight-up smoke and mirrors. Because yes, sometimes even that luxury bag is fake.

Here’s what I teach my clients (and practice myself) when the spiral hits:

1. Edit Your Feed Like You Edit Your Closet
If it doesn’t fit anymore, it goessssssssss. Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Make space for voices that make you laugh, teach you something, or spark curiosity. If you look at my Explore page now it’s literally cooking and traveling videos. I don’t even watch things in my industry. Afterall, after working 10-14hr days, I need a place to unwind and disconnect, and dare I say… learn something new ;)

2. Anchor Back to Your ‘Why’
Your purpose has to be valued more than your engagement. Why did you start sharing in the first place? What excites you enough to hit “post” even if no one claps? The clearer you are, the less likely you’ll get blown off course. In my strategy sessions I walk creators through my “3 Content Formula” that’s not only anchored on the “Why?” but also really helps define the purpose of posting.

3. Build Boundaries Offline
Your creativity doesn’t live inside your phone. It lives in walks, conversations, books, silence. Protect those spaces. Personally, I bought a $10 alarm clock just so my phone stays out of my mornings. It’s a small thing, but it changed everything.

I also don’t bring the phone out when I’m in a meeting or eating. I made a personal promise to myself this year that when I’m with someone, I want to be 100% present for them. Best part is I would say about 95% of the people I share this tip with, do the same, and now when I go out with them they don’t have their phones out either.

4. Say It Out Loud
Comparison thrives in secrecy so talk about it! Talk to a friend, a fellow creator, or even in a group chat. The moment you realize you’re not the only one, the grip loosens.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: you’re not falling behind just because someone else is moving forward.

Success online isn’t a race, it isn’t a straight line. It’s something so deeply personal, sometimes invisible, and it cannot be measured in likes or follower counts.

So please be kinder to yourself than the internet ever will be.

And if this hit home, please hit Subscribe. I write about creativity, mental health, and building a career (and a life) that won’t burn you out.

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XX Idalia